Hello!

Fellow bloggers,

I have started a new account to blog my experiences of depression- one of the most common words in our everyday vocabulary. Depression is a word that everyone, everywhere has heard at some point in their life (and I don't mean depression of the economic kind!). If you type the word into google you will be hit with 252,000,000 searches. Yet, the 'generic' term depression can mean so many things to the many millions of people who suffer from it.

Depression can be such a controversial word: the next time you are in work say to your colleagues: I have depression. The next time you are at an interview say: I have depression. The next time you meet up with the woman who has just lost her husband to cancer say the words: I have depression. See what you get...

 Of course depression is difficult to understand for those who have never suffered it- I totally get that! Why, no one likes a whinger or a moaner and at times it seems like all depression sufferers seem to do is moan and whine. I suppose my blog is just that: an area in which I can rant, whine and blow out my deepest and darkest thoughts in my bleakest moments so technically, yes, I am just moaning. But, the reason I write on a blog about depression, as opposed to in a regular old-fashioned diary is because I want people to read it. I want sufferers to read and hopefully understand some of what I am saying- perhaps they too have experienced similar to me. But, not only that, this blog is for the other sufferers of depression- and by that I do not mean the depressed patient but I mean the spouse or partner of a depressed person, because they too suffer. After all, can you imagine anything more bleak than waking up beside a person everyday who can't face the day? A person who at times will not talk to you, will not acknowledge you and even at times will turn your world upside down on a whim- you tell me that is not suffering!

Over the next few entries I will detail my experiences. Some days, like today, I will feel fine, normal or as normal as one can be; then there will be days when I will be at my deepest and darkest moments- days which I feel will be important to write about, especially if you want an insight into the mind of a sufferer. I think this will also be good for me because sometimes, on the good days, you forget the worst days and talk yourself out of being 'ill.' And every sufferer knows, pretending your depression does not exist is never a good thing. After all, that's what I've done for the past 10 years...