Today I have had a mild case of the blues: not enough to send me into the deep pits of despair but enough to make me feeling lonely, frustrated and trapped in my own mind. I wonder if this is a normal feeling- after all it is Monday and people generally feel a bit hopeless on a Monday for a wide range of reasons- do they not?
I am guessing most people dread a Monday as it serves as an anti-climax: an anti-climax to a weekend filled with drink, laughter and friends? Maybe not, maybe like me they dread a Monday because it is another day in the mindset of a person with depression. Maybe like me, you never feel rested on a Monday because you wake with an ache in your stomach and a vacancy in your head. Your weekend wasn't filled with laughter and fun but isolation, fear and frustrations...
Today I went a walk after work to try to combat these blues- after all, a nice brisk walk does wonders does it not? Not for me, unfortunately. Whilst it did tire me out in a physical way- much preferred to the mental way- I found myself walking and thinking- after all what more is there to do when walking along? What did I think as I walked- I thought of how utterly alone I felt and vulnerable and exposed. All of this lead to a bit of panic and anxiety and I had to cut my walk short, unfortunately. Oh well, there is always tomorrow...
No comments:
Post a Comment